Facing vs. Overcoming Fears: Why the Difference Matters for Building Confidence

Fear is something every human being is familiar with. It’s our brain’s way of saying, “Pay attention — something could be wrong here.” In real danger, fear keeps us safe. It helps us pause before stepping into the street or keeps us alert in uncertain situations.

But here’s the thing — fear doesn’t just show up when we’re in danger. Sometimes it sneaks into spaces that are full of potential: trying something new, meeting new people, going after big dreams. And when it does, it can quietly convince us to stay small.

At A Confident Mindset™, we teach that there’s a difference between facing your fear and overcoming it. These two things are not the same. And understanding this difference — and teaching it to our kids — can unlock a whole new level of confidence.

Understanding the Role of Fear

Before we can move through fear, we need to understand why it shows up in the first place.

Fear isn’t bad. It’s not something we need to “get rid of.” It’s simply information — a signal that something is new, uncertain, or uncomfortable.

Sometimes, that signal is helpful. But often, it’s just fear doing what fear does — trying to protect us, even when we don’t need protecting.

And that raises a powerful question: What do we want to do with fear when it shows up unnecessarily?

Why Facing Fear Comes First

Here’s the truth: overcoming fear is the result, not the starting point.

Facing fear is where growth actually begins.

Facing it means stepping toward the discomfort — even if your voice shakes. Even if your heart races. Even if your stomach is full of butterflies. It’s the showing up anyway that plants the seeds of confidence.

When kids realize they don’t have to wait to feel fearless to take action, everything changes. They stop holding back. They stop needing permission. They start raising their hands, joining the team, trying new things — fear and all.

Tools That Help Kids Face Fear (Without Freezing Up)

The goal isn’t to teach kids to avoid fear — it’s to help them move with it. And that requires tools. Practical, easy-to-use strategies they can carry with them:

• Deep breathing (we teach them: smell the flower, blow out the candle)
• Grounding techniques to help slow racing thoughts
• Small steps that build tolerance, trust, and resilience

At A Confident Mindset™, we embed these tools into everything we do — from our school program to our Confidence Coach training. Because when a child learns to calm their body and mind in the face of fear, they build a kind of quiet strength that lasts a lifetime.

What This Means for the Kids (and Grown-Ups) in Our Lives

When kids understand that fear doesn’t mean stop, they start stepping into the growth zone. They begin to see courage not as something reserved for “brave” people — but as a skill they can grow by doing things scared.

This mindset shift changes everything. It builds confidence that goes beyond the classroom or the soccer field — it shows up in friendships, leadership, and decision-making, too.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Be Fearless to Be Brave

Let’s stop telling kids (and ourselves) to wait until fear disappears.

Instead, let’s remind them:
You don’t need to be fearless to move forward.
You just need to be willing to take one small step…
One moment. One choice. One brave breath at a time.

That’s where confidence begins.

Want Support Building Confidence in Kids?

Explore www.aconfidentmindset.com, where we help well-meaning adults — parents, educators, and coaches — instill confidence in the next generation using proven tools and practical strategies.

Be sure to check out our K–8 School Program and Confidence Coach Certification, designed to help you model, teach, and grow confidence — from the inside out.

FAQs on Facing and Overcoming Fear

How can parents or teachers help a child who is struggling with fear?
Start by normalizing it. Let them know fear is a normal part of doing something new. Then, walk alongside them as they take small, manageable steps. Celebrate effort, not just success.

What coping strategies really help when facing fears?
Simple is powerful. Breathing exercises, grounding practices, journaling, and gradually facing the fear in small pieces all help kids regulate their nervous systems so they can respond with calm instead of panic.

What should I avoid saying when my child is afraid?
Try not to dismiss their fear with things like “It’s no big deal” or “Just do it.” Instead, meet them with empathy:
“I see you’re nervous — that’s okay. Let’s figure out one small thing you can try.”
Validation builds safety. Safety builds trust.

What if my child refuses to face their fear, even with support?
That’s normal. Fear can be sticky. Instead of pushing, get curious. Ask questions like, “What part feels hardest?” or “What could make this feel easier?” Go at their pace. Even a tiny step forward counts as progress.